"What goes on at the football stays at the football". That was dad's motto for life as a nine year old Cardiff City fan. I am now 20 and still committed to the Bluebirds, but like many am devastated with what is becoming of our club. 

 It took me a few long years to realise that I hadn't in fact been singing '2-0 to the sheep 'shackers'', and there were some chants that would get me a sidewards glance from dad if I joined in with. But these are the days that stick with me, the memories I cherish the most; because as a young fan, match days at Ninian Park with my bobble hat and bluebirds painted on my face were the best. The routine of match day added to the excitement. We'd catch the train at 11 from Neath, meeting up with dad's Port Talbot friends. My passion for Cardiff City was cemented by the fact that I actually live closer to Swansea, and post derby day losses in a comprehensive school surrounded by Jacks was not fun. After the train ride, a visit to our local pub to be met with a pub lunch and midday kick off on the TV would continue the matchday routine.

I vividly remember saying to my dad on one cold Saturday afternoon as we entered Ninian Park, that 'this is my favourite bit'. Walking up the steps to a roar of noise as we entered the Bob Bank, with a lot of it generated from the Grange End - the fans were ready for another battling fixture. We were an intimidating place to go to, and the crowd would often become the teams 12th man.

We're known for our commitment here at Cardiff City, you have to be, because we know more than anyone, that supporting the bluebirds is not an easy ride. But despite our Wembley blues, and missing out on the play-offs one year because of 1 goal, with the 6-1 defeat at Preston (my personal worst memory) coming back to haunt us, supporting Cardiff was entertaining. There would always be a fans favourite in these teams in the likes of; Andy Leg, Kavanagh, Ross McCormack, Michael Chopra, Joe Ledley, Jay Bothroyd (these are my choices as a young bluebirds fan). But when you look at the team we have today, or at least the atmosphere surrounding the team we have today, there's a big lack of character.

I've had my wake up call since coming back home from University. My priority has always been, that when I'm home for Christmas, or just before I leave for the start of term, I will watch a match. I went to the 0-0 against Everton, which for me was awesome, it was the first home match in the Premier League I had been to see, we enjoyed taking the mick out of Fellaini with the chants of "Get your hair cut!!" It was a well deserved point. But this positivity was soon interrupted. 

Our promotion to the Premier League should have been met with celebration, it was the first time we had been up there in years, and after several attempts and failures in the Play-Offs, we had finally made it. But the kit change and dwindling relationship with Chairman, Vincent Tan turned what should have been an enjoyable season into one of real controversy and negativity.

We face a depressing situation at Cardiff City Football Club. Not even the typical 'support the boys and MAKE SOME NOISE' receives any real passion in it any more. The irony is that new badge on the kits of every player before each game states the 'Fire and Passion'; it's a false representation. 

But yesterday's performance against Watford was the real wake up call. It was the first time me and dad had been to watch a match together like 'in the old days' for a very long time. We stuck to the same routine, went to our local and watched the Spurs Man United game. But as we entered the Cardiff City stadium, everything changed and I realised it was a lot different than it used to be. The Watford fans were singing to us within the first twenty minutes that, 'this is a library'. They were not wrong, and when I spoke to a season ticket holder next to me who has been to the games this season, he said "this is what it's like now, there's not a lot to cheer about." This is not the Cardiff City I am used to supporting. We are normally the intimidating crowd, we are normally the ones questioning the lack of support from the opposing team. But when you observe the situation and look at the fact that the team you have grown up with are wearing red, with a badge so disconnected with our club culture, where there is an empty red extension in your stadium, and a manager who is as clueless as the person who appointed him, it was hard to sit there and cheer. In fact, it was jeering rather than cheering that created the most impact - the 'We'll always be blue' was incredible and gave me goosebumps, because there was our passion and there was our desire to get our club back.

Cardiff City has lost its identity. Going to the games no longer holds the excitement it once did. There is no desire from the players, there is no experience in the manager, the loyal fans are being driven away from supporting a club that they no longer feel the same connection with.

Whilst the players, managers and staff may all play their part, it still remains the fact that our owner is simply destroying us.

twitter: Bethphill_